For partners, family and friends

Recovery

You have an important part to play in the recovery of your loved one but may be nervous or unsure how to respond to them. You may also be experiencing powerful feelings yourself and having difficulty coping with your own reactions.

Support can mean something as simple as offering to take care of day to day practicalities like childminding or shopping.  It can also mean supporting someone while they battle with intense feelings like rage, fear, helplessness, guilt, anxiety, depression, etc.  Let them know you are there if/when they need you to listen.

Support

If someone is telling you about what has happened to them, it is because they trust you. For that reason, you are very important to them and what you say and do matters a lot.  Below are some points that may help:

• Offer your support and attention: One of the most important things you can do for a survivor of sexual violence is tell them that you believe them and you are there for them. Another invaluable help is simply to listen and accept what they are saying.

• Don’t blame: A person is never responsible for being assaulted.

• Be understanding & non-judgmental: Survivors may have problems with everyday things like eating, sleeping and concentrating on work or study. This is because they are traumatised and there are a wide range of different ways this can be expressed. Don’t expect them to be back to their usual selves quickly – try to understand

• Let them make their own choices: Sexual violence was forced on them so it is vitally important that you do not take away their decision-making powers or pressure them into any actions or choices. Don’t interrogate them or push them on their actions – it is up to them to say what they need to do. You can find out what options are open to them, but let them decide what they want to do.

How we can help you

It is important to acknowledge that those supporting survivors of rape & sexual abuse can themselves be upset by the experience and may need support. You can contact us at any time to access support and information.

The Waterford Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre provides a counselling service for families, friends and those wishing to support clients who are attending the Centre.

Do you know what to look out for or how to safely support a friend experiencing domestic violence?

watch the video below for clues